im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
why is half of my head shaved?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
