You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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