But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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