; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just tell him i said nine months
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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