i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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