there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
