That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I have fence marks all over my body
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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