you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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