guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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