It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
