it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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