Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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