just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
