Who did Billy Mays play for?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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