I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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