If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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