We're like a lot better than the average bears
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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