I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
