I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
