it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
