there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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