just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Randomize
