Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
