is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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