so that wasnt chicken after all
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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