Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
