In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just want to make out with him forever
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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