nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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