There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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