cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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