i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
