just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
