We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize