just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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