Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
