hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
