is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
