Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
