Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
It's shark week go big or go home
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
