dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we're making bets on your personal life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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