from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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