Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
