He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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