i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
