Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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