well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
