Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
