So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
