this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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