i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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