Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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