i barfeds in our rink
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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