I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
