I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is my gift to your gina
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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