she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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