We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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