that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
