I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
