I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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