i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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