I'm jealous of your bromance
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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