I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
